I recently shared some exciting news on Talk About Life Changing #Mom Life but getting to this point was a challenge for our household. My husband and I decided in Fall 2020 that I would undergo IVF treatment as a means to expand our family. As mentioned before I had my husband get a vasectomy when we got married because I was 1000% sure I did not want to have kids. That all changed for me in 2020 and we researched the cost of reversing the vasectomy and redoing the vasectomy vs. undergoing IVF. Financially IVF was significantly less and with IVF we were guaranteed multiple embryos in case I changed my mind again!
I like to preface with that because most people you meet throughout your IVF journey are faced with fertility complications by either the woman or the man. I absolutely feel for these families because it is heartbreaking to go through so much effort and want something so bad with varying success rates. I’ve met so many families on social media that have shared their stories and never lost faith after many years and rounds of IVF…these families gave me so much hope as I was getting ready to enter unknown waters.
I truly believe my husband and I were very fortunate and lucky with our journey which started in September 2020 which was our first meeting with the doctors at Pacific Fertility Center in San Francisco. Flash forward to February 2021 and we had 7 very healthy embryos to select from.
Choosing Your IVF Doctor/Treatment
We had NOOOOO idea where to even start. We didn’t know anyone who had undergone IVF treatment (although once we shared with family/friends about our process then we learned there were A LOT of families who had undergone IVF). Part of the reason I wanted to share our journey was to take the negative stigma away and shame away from IVF. Of course I completely understand wanting to keep your life private but that should be a choice made not from feeling ashamed or embarrassed that said person/family was unable to conceive naturally.
I started as any millennial would and went to Google first. I searched “Best IVF Centers in the Bay Area”. I scrolled through the search results and read pretty much every article on testimonials of which treatment was best suited for our family. I narrowed it down to top five then eventually to top three. In the end I chose Pacific Fertility Center for a couple of reasons; 1. they were upfront about cost estimates and treatments, 2. I was working in SF at the time so it made sense to pick something that was easily accessible, and 3. they did not support carrying twins. Number three was BIG for me. If I conceived twins naturally then that would be the way of things but I did not want to have two embryos transferred at the same time. Some centers will recommend this method based on your medical history and age.
My recommendation would be to think about and create a list of must-haves and show-stoppers and do your research. Call the fertility center(s) and ask questions. Read blogs and testimonials of previous patients experiences and don’t rush the process. Read up on the doctors to get to know them better. I selected one of the founders of the center to be our fertility doctor because I felt that he was passionate about his work by taking that extra step. Most centers offer a free consultation to go over a lot of the topics discussed above so make sure to take advantage!
Let’s Talk About Headspace….
You’re about to enter a new chapter in life (and if you’re reading this you’re probably about to go through your first round of IVF or just considering if IVF is right for you). I can’t say it enough but make sure you’re in a good headspace with yourself and your partner. Not only are you entering unchartered territory but it comes with fluctuating hormones, good news, bad news, worry, and SO many unpredictable days and emotions. Have you been thinking of seeing a therapist? Now is the time to book that appointment and ensure your mental health is at its best! Thought about seeking couples therapy for you and your partner? Do it before you start IVF and make sure you’re both on the same page and expectations are clear!
<3 Happy Mommying